The Beauty of the Blue-Eyed Ones


Whether you choose a natural or allopathic approach to healing cancer, the path can be challenging. My choice is a natural method to healing. In my experience the detoxification effects from certain protocols are the roughest aspect of the journey. One part of my protocol is a high dose Vitamin C infusion pumped into my veins twice a week for a month. While Vitamin C is quite effective at causing cancer cell apoptosis, the side effects of exhaustion, headaches, and nausea while the dead cells are processing through my liver can be rough.

Luckily I get a month off in between the Vitamin C infusions and yesterday was my blessed last day! Last night I had massive amounts of energy post infusion and could not sleep. At 2 AM after tossing and turning, I woke up my partner Syris who was sleeping in another bedroom. This incredible man has been my anchor and saving grace through a very tumultuous journey. I could spend pages writing all the wonderful things he does and gives to make this path easier. As I write this, tears come to my eyes in gratitude for him.

In general, Syris needs much more sleep than I do. I know the effects which losing a nights sleep has on my beloved. Despite this, I woke him up, as I knew he could help me finally get to sleep. Desperate moments call for desperate measures!

Typically after a C infusion, I am similar to an energizer bunny at night. Unfortunately the high is soon followed by a brutal crash and I channel lethargic slug energy for a day or two. The following morning was no exception as I felt as if a freight train had knocked me out. Welcome to detoxification land!

The other blue-eyed beauty is Xaria the Australian Shepherd wonder pup! This year and a half old, 58-pound ball of pure fluffy joy is a profound gift in my life. (Ironically Xaria’s name in Persian means ‘Gift of the Heart’) Xaria innately knows when I need some TLC and follows me around like a protective shadow. This morning, when I awoke with my pounding head and aching body, Miss Fluff was sandwiched against my side with Syris on the other side of me.

Despite my ornery body, I felt such love, protection and sacred adoration from these two stellar blue-eyed beings. I’ve found one of the most important elements of healing is my attitude. I can either focus on the positive or the negative. So when I awoke and felt the pain in my body, the thought I chose to concentrate on was how fortunate I was to have them next to me. As soon as I brought the gratitude in, the whole story changed. The aches in my body faded as I focused on the love that surrounded me. I felt the softness of Xaria’s fur and Syris’ long legs wrapped around me and savored the sleeping essence of their peaceful bodies.

I am so blessed. Yes, I am journeying with a life threatening diagnosis and yet, I am surrounded by impeccable beauty everyday. In many ways it took me being cracked open by cancer to let this immense love in.

I am grateful for the deep dive of this journey. There are gifts of redemption in the pain and hardship. I am deeply loved and in turn, love deeply. And this in itself is cause for celebration. Thank you my metamorphic teacher cancer. Thank you blue eyed beauties for shining your radiance upon me. Love is indeed a healing force and I am blessed to rest in the halo of it’s light.