No Stone Left UnTurned
There’s a funny thing that happens when you receive a Stage 3 Cancer diagnosis. Suddenly, the importance of life is magnified a hundred fold. Petty things that bothered you before seem rather insignificant when staring down death’s doorway. For example, part of my healing cancer naturally path is to pick apart EVERYTHING that does not serve me. This falls into: relationships, habits, false or conditioned ways of behaving or anything that continually creates stress. Stress feeds the tumor and exacerbates the cancer growth. It means I must leave no stone left unturned, however painful it may be.
Facing what does not serve me can be an uncomfortable process. It means culling what is harmful. Unfortunately, that can mean walking away from unhealthy relationships and situations. It can be a heart breaking process to realize that someone or a situation you love might not be the best person to be in relationship with, whether it be a family member, friend, partner, pet, work relationship, job or living environment.
It comes down to a choice of life or death. When you realize your time could possibly be limited, why waste your precious resource with people and situations that ultimately don’t serve your highest good?
In less than two years I have witnessed two of my closest young friends whittle down to 65 lb. skeletons and die. I saw their bodies taken away to the crematorium. This is a horror that I would not wish upon anyone. I have heard the doctors tell me that if I don’t follow their allopathic protocol I will probably die. I am following my natural healing path and right now I am healing at a rapid rate. I am well aware that life is ephemeral and fleeting. I sure as hell know that every breath is precious and I intend to live it fully.
Life is painful. Growth can hurt. Being true to yourself and living in integrity means sometimes you have hard choices to make. If I was to choose between growth/life and staying stuck in patterns that don’t serve me, I choose facing my demons!
Maybe fierce self-love means to bravely walk away from the circumstances that ultimately don’t serve you. Maybe that is truly the test of courage. Can we walk our talk? What is the cost of boldly living true to our authentic self?
In our current corrupt government, fueled with hatred, blame and deception I believe it’s a valuable question to ask ourselves how we feed into the game? How can we make this world a better place for our children? Are we living our truth? It boils down to each decision we make, however minute it might seem. Are we choosing courage or falling into repetitive fear?
When staring death in the face you quickly learn time is an allusion. I cannot assume I will live to a ripe old age. All sense of control has been ripped away with the death of my friends and my current cancer journey. All I have is this moment and I intend to live fiercely, even if I have to leave a comfortable situation to stand in my truth.